Why Can't We Be Friends?

If you are anything like me, one of the biggest challenges through all of this has been; How do I  keep my friendships going when I am the only person without children? How do I have dinner with my friend who is seven months pregnant without wanting to cry and/or throw up? How do I feign excitement for my friend who announces that she is pregnant for the first time, even when "It was definitely not something they wanted right now."
My tactic has been avoidance. Avoidance at all costs. You want to have dinner? Oh sorry, already have plans. You are having a birthday party with a group of people that are pregnant and/or have children? No thanks! Would rather put my head through a wall.
I know that this isn't exactly healthy or mature, but it's the only way I know how to deal. There is a level of self-preservation that is necessary in my opinion- but maybe the execution needs a little work.
Would love to know your thoughts. How do you keep your friendships while also being good to yourself and honoring your own needs?

- Jennifer

No Exit

Because I use unscented baby wipes for make up removal and many daily chores, including the cleaning of my aged cat, I have a smiley baby stare up at me multiple times a day.  I joyfully work with pregnant women in my practice, helping them through pregnancies and adjusting them as their center of gravity changes. I also help others through fertility treatments and have attended 14 births. But it's the packaging of these baby wipes that are a daily reminder of what I don't have smiling up at me.
There was a time when I would flee the country to Italy to escape Mother's Day, then Italy started celebrating the holiday. No escape.

- Kira

How did I get here? - By Jennifer

Sometimes I really do feel like I am in that Talking Heads song "Once In a Lifetime". After each miscarriage my husband and I have both said aloud, "How did we get here?!" Seriously. Most days it still doesn't make sense to us. We are healthy, vibrant people in our mid-thirties; Why isn't this happening for us the way we thought?  Why is it so difficult for me when it seems so effortless to everyone else?
I was fortunate enough to be introduced to Kira through my in-laws, not knowing at the time how important she would end up being to both me and my husband. After my first miscarriage I had the bizarre feeling that I should ring her up for a chat, turned out we had a lot more in common than I could have ever imagined. After each of my six miscarriages she has helped me get back on my feet, sometimes literally, and encouraged me to understand how important it is to truly heal from these traumas, not just put a band-aid on them and forget that they happened. It was after my fourth loss that I realized maybe something a bit bigger was going on, and maybe, just maybe, I can use my experiences to help others. I didn't see a lot out there providing helpful and hopeful information for people in my situation, just a lot of scare tactics, anxiety fueled message boards, and sometimes dismissive literature. Fortunately Kira was on board (because without her input this blog would really just be me complaining a lot). So, here we are trying to rip off the band-aid and share our experiences and journeys, hoping to help all of you to do the same.

I'm not much of a "quote" person, but I saw this on Pinterest and thought it perfectly captured "finding the gold" in an otherwise horrible situation. If anyone knows who wrote it please let me know, I would love to give credit where credit is due.