Tuesday, June 3, 2014

On Judging Pain

First things first many apologies for the lack of posts recently, Kira is abroad and I have been battling a horrendous cold for the last few days, making it virtually impossible to do anything else other than eat ice cream. But I'm back (sort of) so bear with me while I try to string two sentences together. While I was moaning on the couch this morning I came across a really interesting essay by a writer named Jennifer Pastiloff, titled "Don't Judge Your Pain. Or Anyone Else's". The essay centered on her broken foot and inability to do anything other than sit for a protracted amount of time. During this unasked for "down time" she had a few epiphanies (I won't spoil them for you) but they had everything to do with allowing herself to feel vulnerable and grateful. There were people in her life that came through for her without her needing to ask, and there were some who deeply disappointed her. Sound familiar? Even though the impetus for the essay was her broken foot, I bet a lot of us could have written something very similar with regard to our own pregnancy loss experiences. Owning our pain and allowing ourselves to feel vulnerable, accepting help, understanding that some people (for whatever reason) are unable to be there for us in a way we feel is deserved and necessary, how kindness matters, are all lessons most of us are learning during our own miscarriage healing process. It is a wonderfully honest and remarkable read, not only because I see myself in her, but it is a brilliant reminder of the kind of person I hope to be not only to myself but those around me.
Please let me know what you think and I hope you find it as inspiring as I did.
- Jennifer

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