Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Thank you, Catalog Industry.....

Dear Catalog Industry,

Thank you so much for deciding when I was supposed to have children (two years into marriage apparently)! You guys are really on the ball; and may I say pretty adamant about making sure I have a whole slew of kids- at least that's the way it seems judging from what you send me on a daily basis. I am also to outfit said children in matching monogrammed outfits and buy teepees for them to lounge around in. Good to know! Oh, I keep getting catalogs from a place called The Land of Nod. Where is that? It sounds like a scary place that I don't think even I want to visit, let alone my "children". I have to be honest; I am getting the distinct feeling you are frustrated with my delay in reproduction, since just yesterday I received eight separate catalogs ranging from Giggle to American Girl. I sympathize, you must be impatient knowing what a good shopper I am, but aren't you laying it on a little thick? I certainly don't need ALL these gentle reminders do I?  I also understand you are painfully aware how long I have been married, since it was ages ago you took it upon yourself to inundate me with bridal magazines and travel brochures for my upcoming honeymoon. So now that my husband and I are going on seven years of marriage (is that like 50 in catalog years?) you are getting a little itchy. I totally get it and appreciate you caring so much, however I have to ask you to bring things down a notch. Please keep sending me J.Crew and Williams -Sonoma Home, but for the time being can you make sure all Pottery Barn Kids catalogs get "lost" in the mail?

Many thanks!



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