I Choose My Choice!

Sorry for the Sex and the City reference, I couldn't help myself. But let's be honest, don't all roads lead back to Sex and the City?
One of the things Kira and I hope we convey through this blog is not only "finding the gold", unearthing a silver lining in an otherwise bleak situation, but also show examples of two women who have experienced similar situations, who then took different paths. My husband and I are still in the process of trying to find a way to make this all work, while Kira and her husband bravely decided that in the end what mattered most was they had one another, and went on to build a beautiful and fulfilling life together. There is no one way to live a life, but if you are willing to be authentic to yourself, then you have the opportunity to live your best one. The volatile ride of baby making can be utterly exhausting. It is depleting emotionally, physically as well as financially. Choosing your choice, your truest one imaginable (whatever that may be), is always the bravest and most rewarding action you can ever take.
I recently had this epiphany after speaking with a woman I was serendipitously introduced to. She and her husband experienced tremendous fertility issues years ago, before the majority of medical advances we are so fortunate to take part in today were widely available. She and her husband decided they could live a rich life without children and went on to do just that. Each has experienced incredible success in their respective careers and they fill their life with adventure and deep personal connections. She went on to say, even though they don’t have their own children and she is not a "mother" in the traditional sense; she has cultivated relationships with people of all ages that find her in a maternal role. This has been incredibly satisfying; despite the fact this kind of mother is not necessarily recognized in our society. I asked if there was ever a moment of regret, she went on to say there were times early on when she felt "less than" by certain people, but realized that perhaps those weren't the relationships she needed in her life. Once she and her husband created the supportive "family" they now have they never looked back. It was an inspiring conversation, one I continue to think of to this day. I realized that regardless of the individual choices we make concerning motherhood and our own fertility struggles, and whether or not we choose to have children, adopt or take advantage of science to help us conceive, supporting one another is what it's all about.  There is plenty of room for all of us at the table. What a beautiful thing!

- Jennifer

Clomid: Breakfast of Champions?

Over the weekend I had a conversation with both my husband and a dear friend regarding Indianapolis Colts hulking linebacker Robert Mathis who recently failed a drug test resulting in a four-game suspension. At this point you are probably wondering why I am discussing the NFL on this blog. Good question. The reason is, Mathis revealed to the NFL the culprit behind his failed drug test, Clomid. Yes you read that correctly. The fertility medication that millions of women have been prescribed for decades to induce ovulation is apparently now being used, but not approved by the FDA, for male fertility. Mathis stated he and his wife experienced difficulty conceiving, which prompted his doctor to prescribe Clomid. Now, as an NFL player you should be pretty aware that anything you take (vitamins, supplements, etc...) need to be approved. Mathis did not seek that clearance, hence the punishment.
There is so much going on in this story I don't even know where to begin. Male fertility drugs can enhance an athlete's performance due to the boost in testosterone. But if Mathis is telling the truth then shouldn't the NFL reverse their decision? Furthermore, shouldn't we applaud him for his honesty?  I can't imagine that it's easy for an NFL linebacker, or really any man, to admit their fertility issues to the world (even if he is 6'2" and 245 lbs). Perhaps his honesty helped other men breath a little sigh of a relief in knowing they aren't alone. If Mathis is lying, well shame on him for using infertility as a scapegoat. Unfortunately the cynic in me believes the latter. Which is too bad, as it undercuts a conversation that could desperately use a healthy shot (sorry for the pun) of media attention.

- Jennifer