Sorry for the Sex and the City reference, I couldn't help myself. But let's be honest, don't all roads lead back to Sex and the City?
One of the things Kira and I hope we convey through this blog is not only
"finding the gold", unearthing a silver lining in an otherwise bleak
situation, but also show examples of two women who have experienced similar
situations, who then took different paths. My husband and I are still in the
process of trying to find a way to make this all work, while Kira and her
husband bravely decided that in the end what mattered most was they had one
another, and went on to build a beautiful and fulfilling life together. There
is no one way to live a life, but if you are willing to be authentic to
yourself, then you have the opportunity to live your best one. The volatile
ride of baby making can be utterly exhausting. It is depleting emotionally,
physically as well as financially. Choosing your choice, your truest one
imaginable (whatever that may be), is always the bravest and most rewarding
action you can ever take.
I recently had this epiphany after speaking with a woman I was
serendipitously introduced to. She and her husband experienced tremendous
fertility issues years ago, before the majority of medical advances we are so
fortunate to take part in today were widely available. She and her husband
decided they could live a rich life without children and went on to do just
that. Each has experienced incredible success in their respective careers and they
fill their life with adventure and deep personal connections. She went on to
say, even though they don’t have their own children and she is not a
"mother" in the traditional sense; she has cultivated relationships
with people of all ages that find her in a maternal role. This has been
incredibly satisfying; despite the fact this kind of mother is not necessarily
recognized in our society. I asked if there was ever a moment of regret, she
went on to say there were times early on when she felt "less than"
by certain people, but realized that perhaps those weren't the
relationships she needed in her life. Once she and her husband created the
supportive "family" they now have they never looked back. It
was an inspiring conversation, one I continue to think of to this day.
I realized that regardless of the individual choices we make concerning
motherhood and our own fertility struggles, and whether or not we choose to
have children, adopt or take advantage of science to help us conceive,
supporting one another is what it's all about. There is plenty of room
for all of us at the table. What a beautiful thing!