I was talking with an old friend of mine on the phone the other day when she asked if I had seen/spoken to a mutual friend who just announced her pregnancy. I said that I will catch up with said friend when her kid is in high school. She laughed, I laughed, but secretly I was thinking, "Wait, why CAN'T I wait 14 years?"
After any trauma there is a certain amount of what I will call "down
time" that I think is completely acceptable. And that definitely goes for
after a miscarriage. In my opinion, you can do whatever you want, eat whatever you
want and say whatever you want. You can avoid any and all social gatherings
without feeling a pang of guilt. But at a certain point you eventually have to
come around, whether you like it or not. I am sort of in that stage right now.
It's been four months since my last pregnancy loss and I am still kind of
acting like it just happened. I am living in a land of woe is me with a
passport and one-way ticket to bitterness. Which brings me back to my point; I
am eventually going to have to interact with humanity, specifically those who
are pregnant. I don't look forward to them patting their bulging stomachs while
hearing all about their hemorrhoids, swollen feet and insomnia. Side note: Who
knew that I would actually be sort of jealous of someone having
hemorrhoids? But I do know that if I don't come back to the land of the living
(and pregnant) soon I may not have any friends to come back to.